Thursday, December 20, 2007

Santa 2007


What a difference a year makes!!

The twins were none too interested in Santa... ah well, there's always next year. At least we have evidence of who's naughty and who's nice!!!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hear, hear !!!

Favorite Christmas gift idea

HEAR HEAR, I like the Mayor (and in a RED state!!!) Said very nicely...


"We are here to tell you: We won't take it any more!" Address by Mayor of Salt Lake City , Utah

Address by Mayor Ross C. "Rocky" Anderson on October 27, 2007 - Salt Lake City , Utah

Today, as we come together once again in this great city, we raise our voices in unison to say to President Bush, to Vice President Cheney, to other members of the Bush Administration (past and present), to a majority of Congress, including Utah's entire congressional delegation, and to much of the mainstream media: "You have failed us miserably and we won't take it any more."

"While we had every reason to expect far more of you, you have been pompous, greedy, cruel, and incompetent as you have led this great nation to a moral, military, and national security abyss."

"You have breached trust with the American people in the most egregious ways. You have utterly failed in the performance of your jobs. You have undermined our Constitution, permitted the violation of the most fundamental treaty obligations, and betrayed the rule of law."

"You have engaged in, or permitted, heinous human rights abuses of the sort never before countenanced in our nation's history as a matter of official policy. You have sent American men and women to kill and be killed on the basis of lies, on the basis of shifting justifications, without competent leadership, and without even a coherent plan for this monumental blunder."

"We are here to tell you: We won't take it any more!"

"You have acted in direct contravention of values that we, as Americans who love our country, hold dear. You have deceived us in the most cynical, outrageous ways. You have undermined, or allowed the undermining of, our constitutional system of checks and balances among the three presumed co-equal branches of government. You have helped lead our nation to the brink of fascism, of a dictatorship contemptuous of our nation's treaty obligations, federal statutory law, our Constitution, and the rule of law."

"Because of you, and because of your jingoistic false 'patriotism,' our world is far more dangerous, our nation is far more despised, and the threat of terrorism is far greater than ever before.

It has been absolutely astounding how you have committed the most horrendous acts, causing such needless tragedy in the lives of millions of people, yet you wear your so-called religion on your sleeves, asserting your God-is-on-my-side nonsense - when what you have done flies in the face of any religious or humanitarian tradition. Your hypocrisy is mind-boggling - and disgraceful. What part of "Thou shalt not kill" do you not understand? What part of the "Golden rule" do you not understand? What part of "be honest," "be responsible," and "be accountable" don't you understand? What part of "Blessed are the peacekeepers" do you not understand?

Because of you, hundreds of thousands of people have been killed, many thousands of people have suffered horrendous lifetime injuries, and millions have been run off from their homes. For the sake of our nation, for the sake of our children, and for the sake of our brothers and sisters around the world, we are morally compelled to say, as loudly as we can, 'We won't take it any more!' "

"As United States agents kidnap, disappear, and torture human beings around the world, you justify, you deceive, and you cover up. We find what you have done to men, women and children, and to the good name and reputation of the United States, so appalling, so unconscionable, and so outrageous as to compel us to call upon you to step aside and allow other men and women who are competent, true to our nation's values, and with high moral principles to stand in your places - for the good of our nation, for the good of our children, and for the good of our world."

In the case of the President and Vice President, this means impeachment and removal from office, without any further delay from a complacent, complicit Congress, the Democratic majority of which cares more about political gain in 2008 than it does about the vindication of our Constitution, the rule of law, and democratic accountability.

It means the election of people as President and Vice President who, unlike most of the presidential candidates from both major parties, have not aided and abetted in the perpetration of the illegal, tragic, devastating invasion and occupation of Iraq . And it means the election of people as President and Vice President who will commit to return our nation to the moral and strategic imperative of refraining from torturing human beings.

In the case of the majority of Congress, it means electing people who are diligent enough to learn the facts, including reading available National Intelligence Estimates, before voting to go to war. It means electing to Congress men and women who will jealously guard Congress's sole prerogative to declare war. It means electing to Congress men and women who will not submit like vapid lap dogs to presidential requests for blank che[que]s to engage in so-called preemptive wars, for legislation permitting warrantless wiretapping of communications involving US citizens, and for dangerous, irresponsible, saber-rattling legislation like the recent Kyl-Lieberman amendment.

We must avoid the trap of focusing the blame solely upon President Bush and Vice-President Cheney. This is not just about a few people who have wronged our country - and the world. They were enabled by members of both parties in Congress, they were enabled by the pathetic mainstream news media, and, ultimately, they have been enabled by the American people - 40% of whom are so ill-informed they still think Iraq was behind the 9/11 attacks - a people who know and care more about baseball statistics and which drunken starlets are wearing underwear than they know and care about the atrocities being committed every single day in our name by a government for which we need to take responsibility.

As loyal Americans, without regard to political partisanship -- as veterans, as teachers, as religious leaders, as working men and women, as students, as professionals, as businesspeople, as public servants, as retirees, as people of all ages, races, ethnic origins, sexual orientations, and faiths -- we are here to say to the Bush administration, to the majority of Congress, and to the mainstream media: "You have violated your solemn responsibilities. You have undermined our democracy, spat upon our Constitution, and engaged in outrageous, despicable acts. You have brought our nation to a point of immorality, inhumanity, and illegality of immense, tragic, unprecedented proportions."

"But we will live up to our responsibilities as citizens, as brothers and sisters of those who have suffered as a result of the imperial bullying of the United States government, and as moral actors who must take a stand: And we will, and must, mean it when we say 'We won't take it any more.'"

If we want principled, courageous elected officials, we need to be principled, courageous, and tenacious ourselves. History has demonstrated that our elected officials are not the leaders - the leadership has to come from us. If we don't insist, if we don't persist, then we are not living up to our responsibilities as citizens in a democracy - and our responsibilities as moral human beings. If we remain silent, we signal to Congress and the Bush administration - and to candidates running for office - and to the world - that we support the status quo.

Silence is complicity. Only by standing up for what's right and never letting down can we say we are doing our part.

Our government, on the basis of a campaign we now know was entirely fraudulent, attacked and militarily occupied a nation that posed no danger to the United States . Our government, acting in our name, has caused immense, unjustified death and destruction.

It all started five years ago, yet where have we, the American people, been? At this point, we are responsible. We get together once in a while at demonstrations and complain about Bush and Cheney, about Congress, and about the pathetic news media. We point fingers and yell a lot. Then most people politely go away until another demonstration a few months later.

How many people can honestly say they have spent as much time learning about and opposing the outrages of the Bush administration as they have spent watching sports or mindless television programs during the past five years? Escapist, time-sapping sports and insipid entertainment have indeed become the opiate of the masses.

Why is this country so sound asleep? Why do we abide what is happening to our nation, to our Constitution, to the cause of peace and international law and order? Why are we not doing all in our power to put an end to this madness?

We should be in the streets regularly and students should be raising hell on our campuses. We should be making it clear in every way possible that apologies or convoluted, disingenuous explanations just don't cut it when presidential candidates and so many others voted to authorize George Bush and his neo-con buddies to send American men and women to attack and occupy Iraq .

Let's awaken, and wake up the country by committing here and now to do all each of us can to take our nation back. Let them hear us across the country, as we ask others to join us: "We won't take it any more!"

I implore you: Draw a line. Figure out exactly where your own moral breaking point is. How much will you put up with before you say "No more" and mean it?

I have drawn my line as a matter of simple personal morality: I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has voted to fund the atrocities in Iraq . I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who will not commit to remove all US troops, as soon as possible, from Iraq . I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has supported legislation that takes us one step closer to attacking Iran . I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has not fought to stop the kidnapping, disappearances, and torture being carried on in our name.

If we expect our nation's elected officials to take us seriously, let us send a powerful message they cannot misunderstand. Let them know we really do have our moral breaking point. Let them know we have drawn a bright line. Let them know they cannot take our support for granted - that, regardless of their party and regardless of other political considerations, they will not have our support if they cannot provide, and have not provided, principled leadership.

The people of this nation may have been far too quiet for five years, but let us pledge that we won't let it go on one more day - that we will do all we can to put an end to the illegalities, the moral degradation, and the disintegration of our nation's reputation in the world.

Let us be unified in drawing the line - in declaring that we do have a moral breaking point. Let us insist, together, in supporting our troops and in gratitude for the freedoms for which our veterans gave so much, that we bring our troops home from Iraq , that we return our government to a constitutional democracy, and that we commit to honoring the fundamental principles of human rights.

In defense of our country, in defense of our Constitution, in defense of our shared values as Americans - and as moral human beings - we declare today that we will fight in every way possible to stop the insanity, stop the continued military occupation of Iraq, and stop the moral depravity reflected by the kidnapping, disappearing, and torture of people around the world."

End of speach
...just focus on 20 January 2009... only 437 days left of Lil'Shrub

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Spook-tacular Hallow's Eve!!!




After having a wonderful day, Ryan the Lion and Erik the Monkey along with Farf and I made a visit to a 4,000 pumpking pyramid! We had a lovely time picking out "balls" and finished off with a decent enough size earthquake (5.6) that I can proudly say, my boys are now California Boys!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Erik enjoying cupcake from Ali & Mia's 3rd Birthday Party


Ryan helping to renovate the house

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

15 month check up



Here's Ryan getting weighed at the Drs on Monday, 22 October. Both boys are doing well and in size 5 diapers!! Erik had a fever so no shots, will have to go back for those in a couple weeks. What a joy...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Monday, September 24, 2007

Bridges

Welcome to the 21st Century! I love this new concept of bridging the digitial divide.

I still think that dollars, euros, yen, Sterling spent on education, heath care and infrastructure overseas is a better investment than bombs, spys and moral imperialism.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Who's paying?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Once upon a time


long, long ago (say... 1978), in a place far, far away (Poughkeepsie) a young family by the name of Devouassoux moved with IBM World Trade.

The beautiful and young Chantal (I can still remember her tight jeans on her Parisian thin frame) had 2 young sons: Yves and Jean Marc. Gerard became famous smoking his Gaulloises and stating, "Bullshit" as often as possible.

Fast forward 30 (yes, thirty!) years, a few broken chairs, wine glasses, cooking lessons, trans-Atlantic flights, weddings, funerals and grandbabies later and Jean Marc and his delightful wife Isabelle visted Pop and Farf on Monday night. They are taking an RV throughout the Western US for a few weeks and we were delighted to see them.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Wax

As I was sitting in the lobby of my local day spa waiting for my aesthetician,I began to think about wax. My mind drifted to Ἴκαρος and I began to wonder: Are we all destined to soar upward as if to reach heaven, avoiding the mire of life only to be burnt by the sun? And who's face will be on our minds as we swallow the sea waters?

None other than they who's hands trembled as they fastened our first bike's training wheels. None other than they who are on not just speeddial, but more so to those whom our cars naturally drive late at night when nothing other than silence, donuts and milk are needed.

These are the actors whom make life, life and to those without these, what shall become?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Aunt Bee wanted to see the final haircuts

so here are pics from today...

here's Ryan:




and Erik:








and both, inside looking out through the screen door:

Friday, July 27, 2007

So much in such little time...

WOW! Where do I start?

Last Saturday, 21 July 2007, was the boy's FIRST BIRTHDAY!! They had a lovely party with so many friends



and wonderful cake...




On Monday Aunt Laurie finally got the twins the wagon...



Thursday evening, Aunt Heid and I took them to their first concert

And today, the boys had haircuts, see Erik:



















...and Ryan...


Monday, July 16, 2007

Check out the boys' rash guards!!



Aunt Bee got the boys rash guards for their first trip to a lake, now if I could just find surf boards just their size...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Pop, Farf and the boys



Phase 2 complete and Phase 3 almost over as well.

We drove down to VA, spent a few days there, saw a few friends and drove up to DuBois for our family reunion. See pic of the grandparents with the boys, Austin is 20, Drew is 16 and the twins... how cute! Also, a week ago each twin had 4 teeth, today they have 8 or 9 EACH!

We fly home tomorrow!!!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Lucy in the Sky with.... Achilles & Maddie??



Remember my lovie Achilles? He went to a nice new family up in the West Hills, here he is with his new Mistresses... And mom Nancy just wrote another! great piece in the SFGate.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Phase 1 of the family x-country trip complete!



And we're still alive!!

On Thursday, 21 June Pop, Farfar, the twins and I took a red eye, via Las Vegas, to Pittsburg. On Friday we visited Uncle Reid, Aunt Jean, Nancy, Karen, Kenzie and Frank. Then we drove to the BOOMING megatropolios of Kane, PA where Poppy went to his High School reunion (won't tell you which #...) Where the boys slept apart for the FIRST time, one at Mona Fay's and one at the hotel (Kane only has one!). We then drove as far as Altoona, PA where we spent the night on the way to VA. The twins went SWIMMING for the FIRST time, and spent the night in a hotel together for the FIRST time.

See pics - now squarely in Phase 2; update soon.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Boys Hit the Beach!

Over the last weekend, we took the boys to Morro Bay, it was lovely! They loved the beach, touched the Pacific Ocean and just hung out. Ryan in Green and Erik in Blue:





Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Anniversarius: from the Latin words for year and to turn, meaning (re)turning yearly

Must an anniversary be a celebration of a past event, or can it be commemorative? And must commemorative be sad, lonely and grief-filled? Why do memories run so short while heart-ache never heal? I worked with Dave, Pat Tillman's uncle, the heart ache can be turned to good action, but the loss is for forever...

The world is embarking on the 40th anniversary of the 6-Day War. I ask, have the lives lost in this war been honored in the actions of politicians, soldiers and citizens not only of Israel and Gaza but also those of us arming, funding and training them? Has progress been made, do those of us who worship the same and one God portray his love or his vengeance?

Yesterday was the 1 year mark of my arrival, big bellied and oh so naive, to deliver the boys. This Sunday is the 7th anniversary of the wedding, and a year from today will be the anniversary of the legal initiation of our divorce.

Why is it "happy" anniversary? Can the tenor of an anniversary change over time?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

What on earth are you eating?


A good friend, and also new mom, asked me what the kids are eating these days. Here's a list:

Stage 3 baby foods
Cottage cheese
Yo Baby!
Fruits like mangoes, bananas and strawberries through this cool feeder thingy
Applesauce
Crackers, biscuits, graham crackers....

it's a mess, but a fun and exciting one!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

9-month photos


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

9-months!

Ryan & Erik
turned 9-months old on 21 April. Poppy, Farf, Oma, Opa, all got together for a nice lunch and a yummy cake!

On Monday, 23 the twins went to see Dr. Min. They are doing lovely! Doc would correct them for only about a month (not the whole 7-weeks they were early) and are on a consistant growth trajectory. Ryan is now 19 pounds 8 ounces and Erik is 19 pounds 4 ounces.

Monday, April 23, 2007

For the few of you who

still don't believe career imbalance exists in today's modern world, check this out:

http://money.cnn.com/2007/04/23/news/economy/gender_gap/index.htm?cnn=yes
On payday, it's still a man's world
Study: Females earn 80 percent of what men earn one year after graduating from college; falls to 69 percent 10 years later.
April 23 2007: 9:11 AM EDT

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- A dramatic pay gap emerges between women and men in America the year after they graduate from college and widens over the ensuing decade, according to research released on Monday.

One year out of college, women working full time earn 80 percent of what men earn, according to the study by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation, based in Washington D.C.

Ten years later, women earn 69 percent as much as men earn, it said.

Even as the study accounted for such factors as the number of hours worked, occupations or parenthood, the gap persisted, researchers said.

"If a woman and a man make the same choices, will they receive the same pay?" the study asked. "The answer is no.

"These unexplained gaps are evidence of discrimination, which remains a serious problem for women in the work force."

Specifically, about one-quarter of the pay gap is attributable to gender - 5 percent one year after graduation and 12 percent 10 years after graduation, it said.

One year out of college, men and women should arguably be the least likely to show a gender pay gap, the study said, since neither tend to be parents yet and they enter the work force without significant experience.

"It surprised me that it was already apparent one year out of college, and that it widens over the first 10 years," Catherine Hill, AAUW director of research, told Reuters.

The choice of fields of concentration in college was a significant factor found to make a difference in pay, the study found.

Female students tended to study areas with lower pay, such as education, health and psychology, while male students dominated higher-paying fields such as engineering, mathematics and physical sciences, it said.

Even so, one year after graduation, a pay gap turned up between women and men who studied the same fields.

In education, women earn 95 percent as much as their male colleagues earn, while in math, women earn 76 percent as much as men earn, the study showed.

While in college, the study showed, women outperformed men academically, and their grade point averages were higher in every college major.

Parenthood affected men and women in vividly different ways. The study showed mothers more likely than fathers, or other women, to work part time or take leaves.

Among women who graduated from college in 1992-93, more than one-fifth of mothers were out of the work force a decade later, and another 17 percent were working part time, it said.

In the same class, less than 2 percent of fathers were out of the work force in 2003, and less than 2 percent were working part time, it said.

The study, entitled "Behind the Pay Gap," used data from the U.S. Department of Education. It analyzed some 9,000 college graduates from 1992-93 and more than 10,000 from 1999-2000.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

One last, nice weekend...

We've been in the Bay Area since about December and unfortunately not taken advantage of the grandparents to watch the twins nearly as much as we should have. Ralph arranged for one last, nice weekend before he departs.

Last Saturday, we went north to taste some wine. Starting with Scharffenberger -better known for chocolate than for the cellars, I was very happily surprised with the sparkling wine! We proceeded to Navarro Vineyard, one I'm not at all familiar with - however I must say they had a lovely Gewürztraminer, much more in the true German tradition, than in the overly sweet we get here in the US. Last on this part of the trip was Husch - one of Opa's favorites.

For dinner I had the quite possible the best prepared duck I've ever had in the US and Ralph had fish at Cafe Beaujolais. Amazingly the duck was just perfect, hard to imagine that in the tiny town of Mendocino one could get it right. Stayed at Boonville Hotel, it was nice. I hear there is a specific dialog in Boonville, something the gold miners made up or something. I didn't hear a whisper of it.

Sunday the weather was AMAZING! no snow here, as a matter of fact the sky was clear marble blue with only some whisps of white which highlighted the blooming nut trees throughout the valley. Lunch at Charcuterie in Healdsburg - very good! and visits to Rodney Strong and Iron Horse. Not impressed with Iron Horse.

Over all it was very nice to get away, sleep in a little and not worry about the next bottle (of formula!).

How is it that...

How is it that on Wednesday Bombings in Baghdad kill 157 and it's burried under headlines here, mostly burried by the VA Tech shootings. While I do agree that the shooting is a terrible tradegy, and that 32 people died needlessly, and that this incident should reinvigorate the debate on gun laws, but how is it that 2 days later there are thousands of articles, inches of press and hours of time spent on tv while almost 5 times as many people were killed in Baghdad in one day and it's almost non-news item?

Is it Iraq Fatigue, is it guilt that the coalition of the willing has made security for the individual worse, is it because they are Muslims, what is it?

Friday, April 13, 2007

A swinging good time

On 01 April, Pop, Farf, Toni, and the Ahlers crew went to Almaden Lake Park to play a little bocce. While there, we had the opportunity to put Erik (red) and Ryan (blue) in to SWINGS for the first time. The bucket swings were a lot of fun, first we started out in seperate swings...



then we got together and shared a swing...


and then tried it back 2 back!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Hop-a-long!


Friday, 06 April, Erik(l) and Ryan(r) saw the Easter Bunny at Stanford Mall. It was a beautiful day, the bunny was very cute and we had a lovely Easter!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

My little Achilles is a STAR - featured in the SFChronicle!!

Well, maybe not --featured-- but check it out, he IS a star!!

Life with a new dog is like life with a new baby -- and the same skills apply

Nancy, Achilles's new lady-in-waiting, is a talented writer and had this published yesterday. She's also written an article in this month’s issue of Pink, which is for women in business; the piece is about the power of networking with former work colleagues (employee alumni networks.)

Monday, April 02, 2007

Monday, March 26, 2007

Art

Looks like this exhibition lasts through 15 July, anyone interested in going when I'm back in DC?

Achilles Saves Nan from Certain Death

As you may recall, Achilles went to a very nice (Thunderbird alums) family in January.

Everyone has adjusted very nicely and I got this email from mom-Nancy just a few days ago...

"The other day I brought a friend along for the same walk (it's in a very wooded canyon up in Redwood Park) and it was so weird because Achilles wouldn't leave our side... he'd trot a few steps ahead, cock his head to listen, come back to us, over and over again. I'd never seen him do anything like that and it took about 30 seconds to start thinking "mountain lion." We turned right around and came back and as soon as we were near the road, the dog was fine again. I think I will tell everyone he saved me from certain death by cat."

Looks like our god-like warrior has saved the day! :) Love it!!!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Despite 'Mommy Guilt,' Time With Kids Increasing: Society's Pressures, Own Expectations Alter Priorities

Full credit to:
Donna St George
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, March 20, 2007; Page A01

Cynthie Bush pulled on her coat and started to say goodbye. She and a friend were taking a night out -- three hours in all, for a quick dinner and a PTA event. It was not the kind of thing she did often, with two small children and a full-time job.

But before she could leave her Herndon home, her 4-year-old daughter began to cry for her. For a moment, Bush recalled, she wondered if she should cancel. Her days were already so full. She needed more hours with her children, not fewer.

That whisper of worry and regret is familiar to a generation of mothers who juggle homework and housework, sports practice and dance lessons, in days that often include paid jobs and traffic-snarled commutes.

But for all the rush of modern life, recent research suggests that mothers are actually doing a better job than they may think, at least by historical standards.

According to a University of Maryland study, today's mothers spend more hours focused on their children than their own mothers did 40 years ago, often imagined as the golden era of June Cleaver, television's ever-cheerful, cookie-baking mom.

In 1965, mothers spent 10.2 hours a week tending primarily to their children -- feeding them, reading with them or playing games, for example -- according to the study's analysis of detailed time diaries kept by thousands of Americans. That number dipped in the 1970s and 1980s, rose in the 1990s and now is higher than ever, at nearly 14.1 hours a week.

This is especially striking because it is at odds with how today's mothers view their own lives: Roughly half of those interviewed said they did not have enough time with their children.

"It's almost like it doesn't matter how much they do, they feel they do not do enough," said sociologist Suzanne M. Bianchi, the study's lead author.

The research offers a look into a generation of great change for mothers. Fewer women lead the kind of life romanticized in the 1950s and 1960s -- with a breadwinner father and homemaker mother. Yet while mothers' hours of direct time with children have increased, so, too, have their expectations.

They have given up hours in other parts of their lives to make more time with their children -- cutting back markedly on housework, which was down more than 40 percent over 38 years. They also trimmed their free time -- and to some extent their sleep -- as they increasingly multi-tasked. Multi-tasking hours roughly doubled.

"This is part of the burden of this generation of parents: enormously high expectations for how children develop, how they feel about themselves, how they achieve and how successful they are in the world," said William Doherty, a family studies professor at the University of Minnesota.

Noteworthy for both its conclusions and comprehensiveness, the time diaries also show dramatic changes for fathers, who have nearly tripled the hours they spend focused primarily on their children. "They're doing more but still dwarfed by what mothers are doing," said co-author Melissa A. Milkie.

In all, the research, published in the fall, tells a complex story of family trade-offs and cultural shifts -- over a span of years when U.S. mothers entered the workforce as never before and the number of families headed by single mothers jumped markedly. This was also a time when families had fewer children and parents were more educated.

"There is a greater stake in each child succeeding," Milkie said.

Now, said Sharon Hays, of the University of Southern California, women -- especially those in the middle and upper-middle class -- feel that to be good mothers they need to be experts on child development and spend more and more time interacting with their children. Hays, who wrote a book on the subject, calls this "the culture of intensive mothering."

But the world that families live in has changed, too. There has been an explosion of lessons and athletic teams for children as young as 3 years old. There are also more concerns about safety and crime, which affect how close parents stay to their children.

Mothers say pressures have been ratcheted up -- which is why, in the Virginia suburbs one recent night, Cynthie Bush and a friend, both teachers with small children, made the effort to get out to a PTA lecture that would touch on the topic.

As her friend, Melissa Waltman of Loudoun County, put it: "You want to be a good mother, but what is that? You're trying to meet these expectations that society has defined."

Changing Priorities


Lori Manik has her own theory about how women today manage to get in more hours of focused child care even though they do more paid work. "If you only have two hours with your kids, then maybe you make sure it's quality time," she said.

"Instead of going home and cleaning the house and doing laundry, they go home and spend time with their kids."

Manik is a stay-at-home mom with four children -- in basketball, soccer, baseball, piano, violin, Scouting, religious education, German -- and a busy life as PTA president at Oak Hill Elementary School.

Looking back to her mother's generation, she sees differences, starting with her mother's newspaper ritual. Her mother would sit at the kitchen table and read for what seemed like a couple of hours. If Manik or her siblings interrupted, they were told to be quiet. In today's busier, more child-centered times, Manik said: "I read after my kids go to bed."

In a 2005 poll by The Washington Post, 74 percent of mothers nationally said motherhood was more demanding than it had been for the previous generation.

Now 45, Manik recalls that these changes were clear even a decade ago when she signed up her 4-year-old for ballet and soccer. At 5, her daughter started piano. "I remember my mother saying, 'Why are you doing all of this?' "

Manik explained that it would expose her daughter to culture and athletics, help give her every opportunity to find her niche in life.

"That's the way it is now," she told her mother.

What Kind of Time Is It?

Not all time spent with children is the same, so the Maryland researchers looked at it in several ways.

There is primary time, when a child is the focus of a parent's attention. There is secondary time -- helping with homework, for example, while cooking dinner. Then there is a third category: just being with children.

Looking back to 1975 -- the earliest year that diaries captured this level of detail -- they found, again, that mothers gave more time than in the past.

For married mothers, hours with children rose from 47 a week in 1975 to 51 a week in 2000. For married fathers, the increase was greater: from 21 to 33 hours a week. Time spent by single mothers slipped from 50 hours a week to 44.

What the researchers could not capture was what they think of as "accessibility": when a parent might be uninvolved but is around to be called on -- inside the house, for example, when the children are in the back yard.

This may help explain why some mothers still feel their time with children is not enough, Doherty said. "You may get home from work at 4:30 and spend hours interacting with your child, but you may feel bad that you weren't around all day."

Sociologist Kathleen Gerson of New York University points out that parents of the 1960s worried about mothers smothering their children with attention.

Now, she said, "the concern is: Are children getting as much face time as they need, as much quality time?"

Time-mindedness is clearly part of family life.

In Fairfax County, there is Janine O'Rourke, a working mother of two who sometimes feels weeknights are too heavy on homework-checking and meal-making, with too few trips to the playground and evenings of board games. "It just seems like a lot of routine," she said.

Like many parents, O'Rourke and her husband include their children in their free time. Fridays are movie nights: the family of four, at home, with popcorn and Junior Mints. Weekends are for family time, too, even if some outings are only to Costco.

There is Lisa Pierce, who thinks of herself as "a stay-at-home mom who never stays home," instead driving to schools, running errands, doing volunteer work, shuttling to sports or Scouting activities.

Pierce said she generally feels she gives her children enough time. But one recent day, she found herself reconsidering the kind of time she was giving.

It had snowed, and her children were out of school. So she took them with her -- for errands, shopping, haircuts. Then she felt a tinge of regret.

Maybe she should have played in the snow with them instead, she thought. Or taken them to a movie -- something fun. "I spend all of this time doing things for them," she concluded, "and not doing things with them."

That, she would change.

Making Life Changes


Cynthie Bush often works 9 1/2 -hour days as a teacher, which leaves her thinking about how to make the most of what is left. Several years ago, she changed jobs and cut her commute from 40 minutes to five.

Then she and her husband decided to give up some housework -- not all of it, but the four hours a weekend they had spent scrubbing bathrooms and washing floors. They wanted to give the time to their children -- ages 4 and 7 -- so they hired out the job, in spite of the cost.

Bush, 36, has not found the time to reclaim her love of soccer and track or her tennis games with her husband.

"The little time we have," Bush said, "we want to give the kids."

It was that sense of time's limitations, she said, that made it harder to get out the door when she and a friend recently went to a PTA book talk by a local author, Devra Renner.

Later, Bush chuckled to herself as she thought about the evening: She had almost been too guilty about missed time to get to a lecture about "Mommy Guilt."

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Erik

First pic taken at 2-weeks,
next taken at 6-months later...

Ryan


2-weeks then 6-months later - and now they are almost 8 months... amazing.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Rub-a-dub-dub





Rub-a-dub-dub my little men in Farf's tub!
Top picture is Mr. Erik playing with Poppy's soup ladle, the middle is Mr. Ryan kickin it hot-tub style and the last is just too cute for words!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Old-school diplomats had loyal, long-suffering wives.

Full credits to the Economist.

PROMISE, wrote the critic Cyril Connolly, has no more sombre enemy than “the pram in the hall”. The old curmudgeon was talking about the smothering effects of parental duty on creative lives. But diplomats, too, increasingly find a globe-hopping career hard to combine with a traditional family life.

The changes in the American diplomatic service are the most dramatic. Every summer, the State Department rotates some 3,000 overseas positions, slightly under half its total stock of jobs abroad. In the summer of 2001, just before the September 11th attacks, some 200 positions were “unaccompanied”: classed as too dangerous for children, and in some cases even spouses. That has risen fourfold, to around 800. Many are one-year postings in Iraq and Afghanistan, which need fresh volunteers each summer.

American diplomats worry about filling such stressful, marriage-imperilling positions. Top administrators at the State Department say they may have to resort to “directed” (compulsory) postings, notably for Provincial Reconstruction Teams working in the far corners of Iraq.

In private, the grumbles are more pointed. War-weary diplomats mutter that promotions are no longer reserved for the best and the brightest, but instead are used as rewards for those with the right “expeditionary” mentality, to use the term favoured by the Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. Singletons, whether unmarried or divorced, are able to sign up for the roughest, toughest unaccompanied positions. This puts them at a huge advantage, their married colleagues complain. Thanks to all those promotions today, adventurous loners will end up running tomorrow's State Department.

In Europe, it is money, not safety, that is corroding traditional diplomatic marriage, and thus the home-based hospitality that oils the wheels of statecraft. Low-cost airlines and fast international trains mean many diplomats in Europe can commute home for weekends with families and wives who have stayed put rather than jettison careers, mortgages or schools. At the French mission to the European Union in Brussels, one in three senior diplomats commutes home most weekends. The commuters include the French ambassador to the EU, a thrifty fellow who recently swapped the cavernous nine-bedroomed official residence for a flat near his office.

Any outfit that sends people overseas has to worry about spouses. But diplomats don't get private-sector perks. Many governments have cut back allowances for their officials overseas. Meanwhile house prices in most capital cities have soared. That threatens the old bargain, in which over-qualified graduates tolerated low salaries in exchange for interesting work, and a lifestyle abroad of colonial ease.

A wife's private-sector earnings, once pocket-money, are now a vital part of the family budget. “It is not just that she wants to continue her career,” explains a European diplomat. “She is probably earning three times as much as you, and without her, you can forget keeping a foothold on the property ladder at home.”

The trend extends to Asia too. Junior Chinese diplomats used to be sent to serve abroad alone, partly to keep their families as hostages against defections. The rules changed in the mid-1990s. But half of all married Chinese diplomats still leave their families at home—though now for less exotic reasons, such as schools.

Some are seeking radical solutions. The Swedes have begun forging bilateral pacts with other nations to allow diplomatic spouses to seek outside employment (many countries traditionally banned embassy spouses from working, partly because it is tricky doing business with people who hold diplomatic immunity). The wife of America's ambassador to Greece does not sit idly at home: she is America's ambassador to Albania, next door. Until last month, another married couple served as British ambassadors to Austria and Slovakia, respectively. The acting British ambassador to Slovakia is now actually two people: a husband and wife who share the job on a four-month rotation.

Single gay diplomats are no longer disadvantaged by spouselessness. But those wanting to take their legally recognised partners with them face a lottery. The Netherlands gives same-sex partners full diplomatic privileges. America acknowledges them neither among its own diplomats nor in foreign officials posted there. A French diplomat in New York failed to secure a visa for his gay partner, despite their marriage-like pacte civil. His partner remained in Paris; he is now yet another commuter, this time across the Atlantic.

Personal editorial:
From what I saw the embassy, it's not just the DoS - and it's no wonder some groups I know of have a 80% divorce rate... as our administration states "you're either with us, or against us."

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Another ranking in the top tier!!

50 Best Business Schools for Getting Hired

see: http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/fortune/0702/gallery.mba50.fortune/18.html

#17.
Thunderbird School of Global Management
Admissions Office
15249 N 59th Ave.
Glendale, AZ 85306 Specializations offered (by function):
Brand Management, Finance, General Management, Marketing, Not Specified, Supply Chain Management
Post-MBA Employment* School Profile*
Job offers/student: 2 Students' GMAT score: 610
Base salary: $73,841 GMAT required? Yes
Bonus: $10,000 Students' work experience: 5 years
% students employed in 3 months: 75 Total tuition2: $45,000
Recruiter rating1: 29 Program length: 18 months

Possibly the best decision of my life! Thunderbird was a great experience, the Thunderbird alumni are amazing and I have some of the best friends and connections from there -ever... What a great year and a half!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Well, there are so many changes I almost don't know where to start...don't know if you remember but back in 2005 I told you about how great my work group was (Yasmin, Tami & Toni), well Tami moved on to bigger and better things almost a year ago and per a blog a couple weeks ago, change was in the air... well, the change is finished. Yasmin, our group leader, has been promoted to Director! Which is absolutely fantastic and much past due for her, but a bummer for those left behind (Toni, Lisa & I). So adjust once again we will and hold our breaths for the next team lead.

Speaking of changes, the boys made 3 big ones this week! From stage 1 baby food to stage 2, from size 2 diapers to size 3 and from the super-leaded extra-special formula they had to have for being 7 weeks early to standard formula! These are all such big steps, it's just amazing. They are growing very fast and I'm having a blast.

Last weekend Ralph went to Denver to meet a couple friends to go skiing and had a good time, hopefully I'll get a night or two free one of these years...

Friday, February 09, 2007

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Teeth, teeth and more teeth

Erik caught right up with Ryan when 2 teeth popped out of his bottom gums on Monday, 23 January. They are both doing really well and keeping me BUSY!

Ryan is now trying to pull his knees up under him, trying to inchworm and Erik has figured out how to roll his way OUT of the Bumbo (the little chairs). They are both rolling nicely now and are so vocal, it's a blast.

They had a 6-month check up on Tuesday 25 January, at which time Ryan was 16 pounds 10 ounces and Erik was 16 pounds 2 ounces. They seems HUGE compared to when they were born.

Ralph is working in SF and really liking it, things here at Sun are ever changing (which means it's keeping me on my toes learning more and more every day). There's change in the air around here, one which is not a surprise, but a sad one none the less. When it's official, I'll let you know. In the meantime there's always more to be done!!

Let us know how you are!